When Wodehouse scripts Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi

An episode :

Shanti Niketan:

It was one of those very many jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all. The Virani family is celebrating Baa’s birthday. Baa was either about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for her years or about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

Tulsi, looking dignifiedly like the statue of liberty, enters the resplendent hall. She is constructed on the lines of a Greek Goddess, particularly remarkable for aristocratic hauteur and forcefulness of the eye.

Abir whizzes in. He looked like an ostrich that had just swallowed a door knob. Abir, who lost his mother at a very young age, had lost all restraint, springing from girl to girl with an assiduity which seemed to suggest that he intended to go on dating them till the supply gave out.

He says “Tulsi Maathe, you ought not to have been here, for, what you are going to witness will tell on your health. You are very old!”
The fishy glitter in his eye became intensified. He laughs, evilly.

Tulsi shudders slightly and in addition to shuddering utters a sharp quack of anguish such as might have proceeded from some duck which, sauntering in a reverie beside a duck-pond, had inadvertently stubbed its toe on a broken soda-water bottle.

She just laughs a silvery laugh and disappears into the crowd leaving Abir anxious.

Karan arrives from Bangalore. Tanya, his devoted wife, whose motherly love is challenged by her husband’s step daughter Bhoomi, decides to speak with Karan about Bhoomi’s marriage with Abir.

Just when Tanya is about to talk to Karan, Tulsi introduces Karan to Mr. Mehta, their business associate and suggests that her grand daughter should marry into their family.

The obedient step son that Karan is, he agrees and makes an announcement in the party.

Abir is nonplused. When you have just been told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand what anarchists feel when the bomb goes off too soon. His whole aspect was that of a man who has been unexpectedly struck by lightning.

Bhoomi trots into her room furiously, her voice trailed away in a sigh that was like the wind blowing through the cracks in a broken heart.

Abir leaves Shanti Niketan in utter disbelief. He experiences the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.

Here, back in Shanti Niketan, Bhoomi sets herself ablaze. She is rescue though. With her face drawn, the eyes haggard, the general appearance that of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle, she tells her step father that she does not want to marry this bloke. She pauses and swallows convulsively, like a Pekingese taking a pill. Then she announces that she is pregnant with Abir’s child. The drowsy stillness of the party was shattered by what sounded to Tulsi’s strained senses like G. K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin. The Mehtas leave.

Tanya calls Abir to inform him about this development. Abir laughs again, evilly. A laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge..

“BALAJI TELEFILMS BANNER”

Naah, I wasn't going to make Kyunki a musical comedy.

Midnight creek

Warning: I may sound overtly maudlin (so that’ll make the word-overtly over sentimental).

My parents read almost all my posts. Almost..
My mom thinks I’m becoming dangerously cynical. Even otherwise.

This post is going to be no different. I cannot counterfeit "exultation" when these buggers have sold off my motherland. Bunch of old oafs. I’ll call it “perfidy”.
I refuse to believe that this is the same Manmohan Singh who started economic liberalization in 1991. The original fellow is gagged and hidden in a somber eldritch cellar in 10 Janpath road. With pictures of P.V.Narasimha Rao, all over the place.

The naqli manmohan in Afro-Asian summit: While our continents include both major producers and consumers of energy, the “framework” within which we produce and consume energy is determined elsewhere. Where? Macedonia?! Duh!
Nuke deal is NOT a one-time special exception for India under global nuclear nonproliferation order. It is the most dramatic textual manifestation of the geopolitical ruse of Washington. [That outside “framework”..]

US Senate passed this deal by whopping 85-12 margin. Why not!
Their major subterfuge to “use” India as a ‘hedge’ in the U.S. plan to contain China, worked. Probably, even ‘they’ never thought it would be so easy! All they had to do was “rephrase” a few sentences in the deal. Indians are “poor” in English and somebody was saying English is the easiest of all languages.ha!
These buffoons are ecstatic about being accommodated as a junior partner in perpetuating an order based on the production of insecurity and violence across the globe.This reminds me of an old Dev Anand Song.. “Barbaadiyon pe jashn manaata chala gaya!”

One Chief Minister, with his hands ‘always’ on the oddest places of his body and a faux husky voice, gives away clothes in charity and dances to obscene songs on Joan of Arc incarnate’s 60th Birthday. Renuka Chowdhary danced too. period. [I need not use “on smutty songs” to convey vulgarity.]Yuk! That jaat!

Informatics

Countdown: 17 hours to go in the most odious semester ever. Last exam [Informatics]. And they promised me third year was going to be 'fun'.Nasty.
[Well, completing a semester is not of any outstanding significance, in itself.I was just having a deadly itch to come, scribble something on my blog.]

My malicious profs,profs?!..no no, the unqualified faculty of my college refuses to give me anything more than 1 out of 5 in my assignments.The Gold medal is mine.ha!
[Sorry fans.The world is unjust.]

Every second woman in the world is either a feminist or is working in a shady MNC/analysing the societal institution/shedding clothes on TV/Movies or is a wannabe MNC-employee/actress or a wannabe-feminist. [Yeah,the special treatment to "feminists" in the above sentence is deliberate]
I want to be a home maker.(because) I pity men.

Wealth changes people.It does.People 'around you'.period.

If radical feminism is acceptable in modern society, so is wife-beating. Ergo, neither is acceptable in civilized society.
A standout to the boy who actually quoted it.
 
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